Well, yes. And it's also about sexual communication and a sexual desire discrepancy. So, read on to find out a bit about my story and how I can help you.
So, you wanna know about me.
Awesome! To tell you a bit about me, I'm going to start off talking about you ... and by just getting straight to the point ('cause I'm a little "no bullshit" like that).
The most common struggle I've heard through many recent conversations with people is that what's going on in their sex life in reality is w-a-a-a-y different than what they really want inside their own heads.
The difference is usually because of a sexual desire discrepancy or a mismatch in libido compared to a partner. In other words ... sexual incompatibility. And often, the reason for the difference (actually ... conflict is a better word because it touches on the emotions involved) is shame.
Shame as a result of all the stuff out there that tells us that who we are and what we want is wrong in some fundamental way.
But wrong compared to what?
Compared to a bullshit standard that doesn't actually exist ... but feels very real as it silences, suppresses and stifles all the beautiful things that make us unique.
Until we find ourselves living in this state of conflict between what's locked up and secret inside our heads and what's experienced in our lives on a regular basis.
To the point where we aren't even sure anymore about what it is that we desire ... or sometimes who we are.
Can you relate to a sexual desire discrepancy?
The truth is that it doesn't have to stay this way.
How do I know? Because I lived this, too. Just like you.
So, hey. I'm Leanne.
I used to feel like there had to be something wrong with me or that I was broken because I had certain fantasies and desires and I thought my partner would judge me for them.
I heard they were wrong all through my life and I just expected to keep being judged. So, I kept them inside my own head.
But that kinda made things worse because sometimes I felt guilty about thinking what I was thinking during sex in order to enjoy it.
Other times, I was just frustrated because what was happening in reality was NOT what I wanted and I'd rather avoid shitty sex.
I finally got to the point where I decided that something needed to change and I started saying what I wanted and what was true for me. It didn’t just happen with a snap of my fingers though!
A lot happened before that point.
A lot of work on myself. A lot of self-discovery. A lot of deep mindset work, including powerful practices that I now use in my coaching.
But through a combination of it all, I was able to heal the shame I experienced in my life, come to really understand and accept who I am and what I want, and then express that.
Now, it's not all silent just inside my own head. I have real, honest, open and awesomely-sexy conversations with my partner and we do what feels good, satisfying and authentic for both of us.
Even secret things that I judged and worried that others would judge are now expressed and I feel confident about them. It feels free now.
This is exactly what I support clients with now.
In fact, I'm on a mission to help you create a sex life you love by freely expressing your authentic sexual self.
And the truth is that ...
“At the core, sexuality is about uncovering who I really am underneath all of the cultural conditioning.”
what I do
I work with women who feel awkward and scared talking to their partners about sex. I help them clarify what they want and comfortably express that so they can have the kind of sex they don't want to avoid.
what others say
I had so many unresolved feelings and limiting beliefs ...
"I don't talk about my sex life with anyone except for you and my husband. But you have this way of just making me feel not judged ... making me feel safe and like it's okay. And when I do the hamster wheel thing and go back to my old story, you remind me and put me back on track. The time we spent together was truly incredibly healing for me and soooo needed. Up until then, I had so many unresolved feelings and limiting beliefs. I will FOREVER hold you in my heart as someone who has truly changed my life. That is saying so much because I searched high and low for someone that could walk me through those difficult feelings. So thank you!'“
3 Ways to Say What You Want in Your Sex Life
Discover how to say what you want without feeling awkward or scared and start creating the satisfying sex life that you want.
Leanne Chesser (she/her) is a teacher and certified sex and mindset coach. She's the creator of Sexy Sexual Confidence, Your Pleasure Profile and the SEXY System. She helps women know who they are without all the stuff that says who they "should" be, so they can unleash their authentic sexual desires, master their pleasure and express what they want sexually, without shame.
Leanne also completed a kink certification program to support her clients in creating the sex lives they desire.
She has a powerful vision for the world of free, equitable, authentic sexual expression, creating celebration, acceptance and inclusion of all our beautiful uniqueness as humans and eradicating shame, silencing and marginalization.
You can find Leanne at https://sexysexualconfidence.com.
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